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ONLY ONE MORE DAY

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     It's only one more day. One more day without him. One more day without his smile, his laughter, his dirty socks in the couch cushions, empty Dorito bags in the bathroom (yes, the bathroom).      Eight years ago my world was changed for all eternity. My sweet son, Robbie, gone.      I remember the moment I knew something was wrong. It was in the air as I walked up the steps. It was goosebumps on my skin as I stood in the doorway. There are so many things I remember but don't want to, and so many things I don't that I wish I could have back.      So now I have a new normal. Dreams sometimes bless me with his presence, younger or 16 year old versions, but never older. Last night I cried while watching a show, flashing ahead to future views of the characters' lives, children, laughter, playing, together. I will never know what he could have become. I will never hold his babies in my arms, snuggle them, kiss away their bo...
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Two weeks of vacation sit in my periphery. Two much needed weeks of time to simply let down after a hectic, wonderful, ultra-busy July (and June, and really a full year of 'retirement'). Yesterday, I began my drive home one day earlier than originally planned from 'up north'. A full week of riding and camping at one of my favorite vacation spots, followed by nearly a week with beautiful friends on Burt Lake, riding Northern Michigan trails (and non-trails), kayaking the Sturgeon, eating and laughing and snuggling with oversized lapdogs. But, I was ready to be home. I missed my donkeys and my usually standoffish kitty, Sassy. I missed my house, the wind chimes on my front porch, and the feels of 'home'. I'd been away from my husband, and wanted to wake up on my birthday beside him, so after an easy pack and load, I started down 75 South for what should have been an easy three hour trip. Thirty miles down the steep and winding road, something blew in my tr...
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End of an Era

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Today began like most others around here. I woke up way too early, spent a couple hours journaling on the couch with Frankie nestled beneath a blanket beside me, and went out to feed the equines before heading to a 9 a.m. CrossFit workout.  Chad walked outside around 9:45 to open what I call the breakfast gate, the one that separates the boys from the girl so they each eat their own portions. Cinder was hanging out in the center area. Cappy roamed over to stand by our visiting bearded collie, Annie. Little Red was standing knee deep in the hay on the opposite side of the fence from Cappy and his canine friend. Less than thirty minutes later, I pulled into the driveway after an invigorating workout and noticed Little Red lying on his side in the pasture. He's been sleeping a lot more the last couple months, so I pushed down the initial panic as I parked in the garage. Tossing my stuff on the kitchen counter, I kicked off my gym shoes and slipped into paddock boots before hustling ou...
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