All Signs Pointed...

 Yesterday, all signs pointed to another shitty day in a row of rather shitty days. Not sleeping more than four hours for multiple nights can leave a gal pretty bitchy, especially when she’s not highly inclined to fight off the bitchiness or pretend to feel otherwise. It was sunny. Didn’t matter. Siding materials finally showed up. Didn’t matter. As I sat on my front porch, background noise of sawing and hammering as Aaron worked on my Brickhouse writing studio, even finishing the tale of the fabulous Lilian Boxfish, who I was certain was headed to an awful NYC death by mugging or old lady heart attack, didn’t matter. 


I was, quite simply, feeling foul. I drove into town to return Boxfish and pick up Deacon King Kong, by the talented McBride, which I’d originally been hold number 27. Not even this could crack my grumpy shellac. I called a friend and asked if she could meet for a walk in our usual spot. Knew it was a longshot. Went to walk anyway, solo. Sat in the lot by the community garden, even opened my walking app, but then shut it all down and drove home. 


I made it through the day, finally giving in to my exhaustion and falling asleep on the couch around 8 o’clock. Didn’t want to go to bed, knowing I would probably wake up too damn early, again. But, I had nothing left. When I woke up today, 5:37 a.m. on my FitBit made me ecstatic. Finally. After feeding the dogs and such, I settled into my old, comfy chair in my office, ready to write and meet this new day. 


First, I delved through email. My friend had emailed (she calls it texting because she doesn’t have a cell phone like a normal human these days) last night to apologize for not being able to meet me for a walk, and I had answered, assuring her it was fine, ending with ‘Whatever. People suck, but not you.’ More importantly, she laid out some facts. It began, ‘Okay, toots…that’s how you know I’m serious…’  She went on for a good, long, poignant paragraph listing everything that has happened to me in 2020, all that I have done and had to survive, ending with, “Oh yeah, you still had the energy to ask me to go for a walk...to be a friend. 2020 totally sucks but you’re kind of a superhero. I love you!”


I couldn’t help it. I was laughing out loud, laugh crying, because oh my god am I lucky to have such a beautiful, so many beautiful people, in my life. This is the thing that helps keep me going, driving past all the signs that point to roads I don’t want to have to travel down because I know at some point the twisty turny roads bring me back to good people. 


Today, the signs are pointing to a better day. Fingers crossed.





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