Letting that Sh*t GO!

Recently, a number of friends reached out to share a post written by a former friend and business acquaintance. Each person who brought it to my attention did so with the best of intentions. They were angry for me, wanting to protect me, and hoping to keep me aware in case of future, well, attacks is the best way to phrase it. Their love and caring was much appreciated. I should have simply left it there, but I made the mistake of reading the post anyway.

As I read, my muscle memory brought me back into the feelings of sadness, betrayal, and disappointment that ultimately led me to disassociate from the author of the post. It would have been incredibly easy to fall back into a pit of negativity, to feed the desire to defend myself, or follow the urge to point out the falsehoods being revived. For a few minutes, I'll admit, these were all pulling my fingers toward the keys; but, as my heart raced and my blood pressure rose, I paused.

Responding was not going to resolve the break or change their pattern of behavior. This person, whom I have had zero contact with (deleted, blocked, don't even scroll when others share things that inadvertently pop up on my notifications) will be given no power over my emotions or actions. When I chose to leave the relationship I cut ties, let go of the frustration, of knowing there were things I would not be able to complete, horses that would no longer be mine to help, and brush it off to let the Universe take charge. 

I have no idea why after all the time that has passed this person felt the need to write what was written, but I am only in control of myself. I had to let that shit go! It was hard, but I did it. It's been almost two months, and I have no desire to stir that vitriolic stew, so I let it go rather than respond. As soon as I did, an ease returned, affirming my choice. 

I've had to do this for myself more often lately, and I am proud to say it is making a noticeable difference in all areas of my life. My calendar is packed, overpacked this summer according to many people. When I scheduled, I truly thought I would simply manage as I've done in the past; but the last few weeks have had me spiraling. Thank goodness my health has been a top priority for awhile now, because otherwise I might have cracked under the pressure. 

Everything seemed to come to a head earlier this month, coalescing in the dream I shared about Snickers and the stampeding Mustangs whose fear, pain, and grief I felt as if I were one of them. Listening to the Universe, I followed my intuition and gave myself the grace to do what my heart had been whispering for weeks. I canceled some plans. I decided to stay home, rather than push through, even though I knew it would disappoint friends. At first the guilt, (ahh, nothing like that good old fashioned Catholic upbringing of guilt) had me seesawing, fearful of making it official. As soon as I did, a weight lifted off of me, everything clicked, and I slept that night better than I had in weeks.

Putting mental health as a priority is basically then tenet of everything I do: personal, horses, writing, health coaching, all of it! The connection between these has been brought to the forefront more and more often this summer, to the extent that I have been forced to dwell on it.

There's no such thing as coincidence, and the threads that tie all these areas together have lately been sewn in bright colors and patterns, impossible to miss.

So, I'm listening more to what the Cosmos is sharing. There are some big changes coming, connections and mergers that I am excited about for myself and the people I am trying to help whether through writing, health coaching, or horsemanship.

In order to do what needs to be done, I had to acknowledge what truly matters, what my true goals are, and let go of all the shit that isn't in the best interest of attaining those goals. 

I've never been happier. I would like to challenge you to gift yourself with this feeling. So, what do you need to let go of, in order to become your best? I would love for you to leave it in the comments. Someone out there needs to know it isn't just them!