Fill Your Heart with Love

Oh, what a weekend! My heart is filled in ways that should not surprise me at this point in my life, yet here I am. Jammies on (it's only 4:45 p.m.). Hydrating. Reflecting on the Somatics Work 1 clinic that wrapped up here earlier this afternoon.

Today, I did a demo for the group with my Mustangs. I brought both horses into the arena and haltered them, playing with them for a bit before everyone walked over. Becky Howell, the clinician and founder of Meeting Place Equine and I agreed that too many eyes focused on Cappy might be a bit much for him, so we decided to use Cinder for the 'observation' demo. I let Cappy back into the pasture. 

Becky asked me to lead Cinder around while she pointed out different aspects on Cinder's body. Despite the windy gusts and crinkling of fall leaves spinning down (much more enrichments than a bubble machine!), I was tickled to hear comments about Cinder's symmetry, balance and connection. Moving close to the fence where the seven women stood just on the other side, Cinder stood parallel, asking for butt scratches. They are her favorites! Becky joked that because Cinder was built the way she is it made this exercise hard to point out rough spots. I offered to bring in Cappy. I would let him choose, be at Liberty, and only do what he was comfortable doing. 

Cinder's halter and lead came off, and I let Cappy into the arena, allowing our mini donk, Little Red inside, too. Of course, all three moved with me, the donkey encouraging me to pay attention to him with bumper car worthy pushes with his big old donkey head. To let the group see how differently Cappy moved, I did some general walking and stopping, changing directions, showing different profiles and angles. Little Red took this as his sign to help remove the green dandelion sprouts from around the arena. He's such a good donkey! 

Before long, I decided I needed to take Cinder out of the arena so I didn't get frustrated with her. She was reaching her limit of being okay with sharing me with Cappy, and I try not to put myself in a nibbling situation. 

Cappy came along with me, and moved away from the gate again easily and dare I say, with joyful steps. Seven strangers standing on the opposite side of the arena fence. Facing us with belly buttons forward. Crazy strong gusts of wind. Hundreds of small yellow leaves spinning and falling all around us like little whirly helicopters. 

Cappy stayed with me: physically, mentally, connected and tuned in. His fuzzy little ears forward and flicking my way. Standing straight on, giving them a lovely view of his ventral line, his developed and balanced chest and square stance. Yes, quite probable past trauma of some sort in his hind...maybe a gaited overextension, or an accident while wild, or during round up when he was seven and living as a stallion. Yet, now moving with ease and joy. His eyes soft and willing. As I stood in the arena with Cappy answering questions, I felt him behind me on my right. I saw Becky's smile and turned to find Cappy's lips at my cheek. I felt him snuffling my hair, tied up in a messy bun. He stretched and gave his 'kissy face', almost as if playing up to the audience.

Two years ago, this sweet, lovely horse was shut down and distant. Today, in front of a group of strangers, he walked and trotted and halted at Liberty with me and was the poster gelding for happiness. As I stood there with him, my heart expanded to new levels. This beautiful Mustang trusts me to be a safe place, a place of joy, a place where he is comfortable to explore and play and be free of fear. 

While I pondered these things, Cappy walked a few feet away, scratched a spot in the sand, and casually dropped down to roll. No tenseness. Not a 'yikes, I'm freaking out and need to roll away stress' kind of roll. As if to reiterate, he stood and shook away the sand, and then dropped to roll his other side. (He's only ever gone over once...aided by gravity on a slight hill in the pasture) Clearly, Cappy was comfortable, as he ambled back over to me where I stood closer to the fence.

Yes, my eyes filled up and over. This boy has taught me so much in our short time together, and I am privileged and humbled to be his person. I wish I had recorded the time in the arena today, but it is indelibly etched into my memory and my heart. Cinder and Cappy and Little Red, my little herd, surprise and amaze me every day; but today, today is extra special. 

Today, my heart is filled with love because of a horse I simply promised not to quit on, and who in return, has shown me the power of love, trust, and integrity.


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