Darkness Spotlights Truth

As I watch the Inaugural news today, awaiting the current president's departure, I am saddened and infuriated. Once again, the world will be shown the true nature of this small minded man. Rather than leave with healing words for our Nation, this man has once again shown his true character. I do not wish to dwell upon political issues here, however. What this has brought to the forefront of my mind is something I believe with all of my heart.

In our darkest moments, people show their truest selfs. 

The day that my son died will remain the most devastating of my life, no matter how long I live. Even ten years, eight months, and four days later, I have not written about most of that day. That is not my intent now either. 

On that darkest of days, my heart disintegrated. There were sounds coming from me that I didn't recognize as my own. I remember the poor officer in brown, standing to my right where I crouched on the concrete of my drive. But then, my son's father showed up and I remember that I stopped. I stood. I caught him as he fell to his knees. I offered comfort when there would never be enough for us, knowing our son was gone from this earth.

In my darkest moments, I helped him.

Hours passed. Hours filled with pain and questions and my traumatized loved ones doing their best to protect me, wrapping themselves literally and figuratively around my broken body and soul. Over the next week, I made sure my family and friends put aside the past (legitimately awful and abusive) actions of my ex and his family. I told them, "The past doesn't matter right now. Support him. He has also lost his son." 

In my darkest times, I offered solace to those who had harmed me.

I remember walking into the funeral home where we were meeting with my ex and his family to plan a mother's greatest fear. Rather than unity and comfort, I was met with hostility and hatefulness. I was threatened. My body flinched at the first onslaught, shocked, unsuspecting. I remember how I finally blocked them all out, reached across the table and wrapped my hands gently over my ex's clenched fists, looked him in his heartbroken eyes, and told him it was up to us, our boy's mother and father, that nobody else had a say. All around us, his parents ranted. I can still see the spittle flying from his father's lips; hear the hissing and cursing from his sisters who sat across the room. They had no comfort for a mother who found her son's body devoid of breath. 

In their darkest times, they showed who they truly were.

Despite the hatefulness, I stuck to my position. Offer him only comfort and support. Too broken to remember much of the visitation hours, I found later that his evil hearted parents and sisters had created what can only be described as a reception line, akin to weddings. These people lined up, making sure they met the hundreds of grieving people before they got to anyone in my family. They spewed lies. They blamed me. They blamed my father. They hissed and spread lies. I only know this because a few people were so traumatized by what they overheard that they skipped ahead of the line and came to me, came to me later with what was said and done. 

In the dark times, they showed who they truly were.

There were so many more hateful things that they did, but I don't need to explain them all. Not yet. My point is simply the thought that came to me once again this morning. 

In the most difficult of times, people show their true character. 

It is up to us to believe what they show us. We cannot cede to evil and hate. When times become overrun by darkness, the truth of who we are is lit brightly, spotlighted for everyone to see clearly.

As we move forward into a new era, I hope people show kindness, love deeply, and strive to be a light for others. Be the light, especially when all seems dark.